supporting bereaved children & young people
supporting bereaved children & young people
Dr Shelley Gilbert MBE PhD PGDPM UKCP(Reg), PGD in Counselling & Psychotherapy, Senior Accredited MBACP is a leading child & young person bereavement counsellor. She founded Grief Encounter in 2004, now a leading UK child bereavement charity. Shelley led Grief Encounter’s Clinical Services as a Trustee until March 2022 and in 2024 took a step back from her duties. Recognising her achievements over the last 20 years, she has been honoured as Grief Encounter’s Lifetime President.
Prior to founding Grief Encounter, Shelley worked full time as an Advice worker and Bureau Manager at an inner London Citizens Advice Bureau and re-trained as a psychotherapist. She joined the Jewish Bereavement Counselling Service, where she trained others and initiated schemes to expand her area as a specialist bereavement counsellor for children. Shelley was also a clinical therapist volunteer for Place2Be for many years, an organisation that provides emotional and therapeutic support for children in primary schools.
Losing both her parents by the age of 9, Shelley has unique first-hand experience of childhood bereavement, and a passion for providing children and young people with a safe space for early intervention following a bereavement.
Dr. Shelley Gilbert, introduced a more realistic approach to grieving, particularly for children and their families, through the concept of the “Upward Spiral of Grief.” This model contrasts with the traditional “stages of grief,” instead showing that emotions such as disbelief, shock, sadness, and anger can recur, but with less intensity over time. It emphasizes that grieving is a personal journey, where feelings may come and go in a non-linear pattern, offering comfort and permission for families to grieve in their own way, without the pressure to follow a set sequence.
The “Upward Spiral of Grief” helps families understand that grief is not a tidy process, but one that takes time, love, and patience. It highlights the difference between the immediate trauma of loss and the long-term adjustment to life after someone has died. This approach reassures grieving children and their families that emotions are normal and temporary, and that hope will gradually return, even in the darkest moments.
Dr. Gilbert’s Grief Encounter Workbook and the broader Grief Encounter Family Programme provide further support. These resources, designed to help children and adults navigate conversations about death and bereavement, have reached thousands of families. The programme includes retreats, counselling, and workshops, creating a safe space for grieving families to connect, heal, and move forward together.
She has been a presenter and keynote speaker at numerous conferences both in the UK and abroad. She is widely published, has extensive media experience appearing across various news channels and daytime television, including Sky News, ITV, BBC, BBC Radio and LBC, as well as national press such as The Guardian, The Telegraph, The Sun and The Mirror. She has presented a TEDx Talk (at Warwick University) to comment on her work with bereaved young people.
2018 included presenting at the international ADEC conference in Pittsburgh USA, a podcast for the number 1 podcast Griefcast with Cariad Lloyd, creative workshops at the Freud Museum with esteemed artists and a symposium with Hope Edelman of Motherless Daughters (USA), in addition to her work at Grief Encounter.
Her innovative theory about the “Upward Spiral of Grief” process is now widely adopted in the bereavement world. She has completed an award-winning Doctorate in Psychotherapy by Professional Studies, researching work with bereaved young people. Shelley graduated cum laude and was awarded the Metanoia Institute of Psychotherapy’s prize for outstanding achievement of bridging research with practice in 2016/7. She was the Founder and Panel member of Childhood Bereavement Network, benefiting from and supporting other bereavement organisations since 2002, and has also helped other services grow and develop such as Slideaway in Kent and Balloons in Devon.
Shelley’s various accolades also include:
When Shelley isn’t with her Grief Encounter family, she is with her exceptional husband and four children as well as her extended family and friends. She has applied her can-do attitude across all aspects, whether it is caring for her children, home-making and entertaining, her dedication to her studies, her commitment as a working mum or supporting her friends. She loves her life, engaging in activities such as keeping fit, holidays (as long as she can still work!), London theatre life, socialising, eating out and modern art.
It is Shelley’s infectious energy and ethos that runs through the DNA of Grief Encounter and is in visible in all the work we provide today – across our therapists, trustees as well as our fundraisers and support staff.
A role model to many; one of life’s truly inspirational people who showcase how you can turn bad into good.
Shelley shares a powerful message at this TEDx Talk – ‘How to Lose Friends and Empty a Room’ – about the grieving processes of young people and adults, reframing thinking about the way we grieve and giving people permission to grieve in a much better way than undertaken in our society.
Dr Shelley Gilbert MBE is often called upon by the media for her expert guidance on the subject of bereavement and grief and its effects on children, young people and their families.
